By Request: The "Evil Clowns" Police Reports

AUGUST 31--Since so many TSG readers demanded them, here are the sheriff’s reports memorializing recent tales of a creepy clown cabal that lives in the South Carolina woods and beckons local children to join them at their leafy encampment.

According to the Greenville County Sheriff’s Office, children have claimed that the clowns have offered money in an attempt to lure them into the woods. A teenage girl told cops she spotted a black man wearing a clown mask "taking pictures of all the children" Monday night. The clown, she added, was riding a blue bicycle. Residents of a Greenville apartment complex have claimed that clowns have been frightening them and their offspring.

One woman told deputies she spotted a “large-figured clown with a blinking nose” waving at her. The clown, she recalled, was standing beneath a streetlight “near the garbage dumpster area.”

Another witness told investigators that her son had seen clowns in the woods and that they were “whispering and making strange noises.” The woman said that when she went to investigate, she “observed several clowns in the woods flashing green laser lights.” The clowns, she added, then ran away.

So far, deputies have been unable to corroborate the clown sightings, which appear to have prompted residents of the apartment complex to randomly fire shots in the direction of the wooded area where the clowns purportedly roost.

A cop who ventured into the woods searched a house near a pond where the clowns reportedly congregate. But the investigator saw “no signs of suspicious activity or characters dressed in clown attire,” one report notes.

Updates when the clowns are collared. (4 pages)