Celebrate Bill Murray’s Birth With A List

SEPTEMBER 21--Bill Murray turns 64 today. So what better way to celebrate the comedian’s birth than with one of those dopey, contrived lists that are all the rage online. So here goes:

1) Murray has an FBI number:

2) Murray got on law enforcement’s radar on this day in 1970, when federal agents found five bricks of marijuana stashed in his luggage at O’Hare International Airport. The Chicago native, 20, was waiting to board a flight to Denver, where he was enrolled in Regis University. The seized pot--which weighed about 10 pounds and was worth $20,000--apparently was intended for retail distribution among Murray’s fellow students at the Jesuit school:

3) Federal marshals searched Murray’s bag after a ticket agent reported overhearing him joke to another passenger that he was “carrying two bombs” in his luggage.

4) Five months after his arrest, Murray pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor marijuana possession charge and was sentenced to five years probation by a Cook County Circuit Court judge. By today’s standards, of course, that 70s punishment seems incredibly lenient. If he were to walk through O’Hare tomorrow with several kilos of pot while talking about the bombs in his bag, Murray would be facing several felony counts and time in federal prison:

5) Murray’s second wife accused him of domestic abuse when she filed for divorce in May 2008. Jennifer Butler Murray alleged that she and the couple’s four young children had moved to South Carolina due to the comedian’s “adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addictions, and frequent abandonment.” The actor also “travels overseas where he engages in public and private altercations and sexual liaisons,” Butler Murray charged:

6) According to the divorce filing, Murray “physically abused” his wife “on more than one (1) occasion during the marriage.” Butler Murray charged that, in November 2007, Murray hit her in the face and “then told her she was ‘lucky he didn’t kill her.’” Murray’s “violent, abusive and erratic behavior” destroyed the couple’s marriage, claimed Butler Murray:

7) Murray’s wife also alleged that he left “threatening voice messages on the home telephone” which their four boys heard. The couple was married in Chicago on July 4, 1997:

8) The divorce action was settled just 32 days after Butler Murray filed her complaint in South Carolina Family Court. Per a prenuptial agreement signed three days before the pair’s wedding, Murray paid his ex a tax-free $7 million “Marital Award.” Butler Murray also received child support and the family’s homes in Charleston and Hemet, California. The pair also successfully petitioned a judge to seal certain records in the matrimonial case:

9) The court settlement left Murray with most of his assets, including properties in Massachusetts and California, where he owns a beachfront home in Malibu and a residence adjacent to a golf course an hour north of San Diego. Murray also kept a sprawling estate overlooking the Hudson River in Palisades, New York. Murray purchased the Rockland County residence for $7 million in 1990, according to deed records. The home became available due to the bankruptcy of the prior owner, Rudolph Isley, one of the founding members of The Isley Brothers. The isolated property spans several acres and includes a swimming pool with the logo of Murray’s favorite baseball team, the Chicago Cubs, on its floor: