BACKSTAGE RIDER: Politicians

Sarah Palin

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Sarah Palin Backstage Rider

Sarah Palin

Along with snagging six-figure appearance fees, Sarah Palin has a few other requirements before agreeing to share her homespun Wasilla wisdom with a paying audience.

Her standard contract, drafted by the Washington Speakers Bureau, requires that if Palin is not flying first class, then a private jet will be required. Specificially, "the private aircraft MUST BE a Lear 60 or larger.” The former Republican vice presidential candidate must also be provided with three rooms--one a suite--in a “deluxe hotel.”

Palin will consider photo opportunities at a venue, though they must be at a prescribed rate, such as “60 min/100 clicks.” And those clicks better deliver a diffuse, flattering light, since “Direct, on-camera flash bulbs are not permitted.”

While onstage, Palin only needs a wood lectern stocked with two bottles of still water. And, of course, a supply of bendy straws, which also happen to be the preferred sipping device of fellow diva Mariah Carey. (4 pages)

Comments (6)

When i first saw Sarah Palin i thought she was kinda sexy then she opened her mouth.
This proves that not only this is the land of the free and home of the brave, but also the haunt of the morbidly stupid and sour-grapes loser overexposed candidates.
Sarah Palin: Making political satirists obsolete since 2008. Eat it, conservatives!
Sarah Palin makes more money than Diddle or Joleen will probably ever see. Eat it liberals!
The only thing this moron needs is a zoo keeper.
Why the heck does she need three rooms?! I guess dragging her entire family around with her all the time might have something to do with it.

Random Demands

One (1) New Toilet Seat

Mary J. Blige demands a new toilet seat at every concert venue. Yes, no more drama.

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