Buster

A man wearing a t-shirt declaring “I Never Argue” was arrested yesterday when an argument with a female acquaintance turned violent, police report.

Daniel Murillo, 44, is accused of repeatedly punching the 24-year-old victim in the head while they were seated in a BMW outside an Econo Lodge in Kissimmee, Florida.

The duo had traveled from Tampa, but were left stranded when their car broke down. After a few days at the hotel, they ran out of money and “began staying in their vehicle while attempting to fix it” and arrange for a tow, according to police.

While Murillo said he and the victim had “been in a romantic relationship for several months,” the woman, cops say, denied an intimate relationship with him.

The inability to arrange a AAA tow, the victim told police, “upset Daniel and added to the tension between them, which led to a verbal argument.” Which, investigators charge, progressed to Murillo battering the woman.

Cops noted that the victim had several bumps on her head which “appeared swollen and recent.”

Murillo claimed that he “struck [the victim] several times in retaliation for her punching him in the face.” He added that after the woman “threw urine at him from a cup they had inside the car,” he broke the vehicle’s windows.

Based on “the totality of the circumstances,” officers arrested Murillo for misdemeanor battery. He was booked into the Osceola County jail on $1000 bond in advance of a court appearance this afternoon.

His “I Never Argue” shirt was replaced with a jail smock.

When planning to vandalize your former boyfriend’s car with eggs and yellow paint, it is always a good idea to make sure you know the exact make and model of the target vehicle.

Cops charge that Evelina Fabianski, 18, mistakenly damaged the wrong auto last night on the Deltona, Florida street where her ex resides.  

By the time officers responded to a 911 call about a “young woman spray-painting a vehicle,” Fabianski had already caused $5000 in damages to an innocent Infiniti sedan (seen above). Along with the words “Jason” and “Devil,” Fabianski allegedly covered the car with various other scribbles.

Fabianski, who was assisted by a 16-year-old female sidekick, told cops that she was angry at her ex over a $700 debt she was owed, according to an arrest affidavit.

Cops allege that Fabianski “decided to spray paint what she thought was his vehicle.” In fact, the defaced auto is owned by a man who lives across the street.

Pictured at right, Fabianski was charged with criminal mischief, contributing to the delinquency of a child, and illegal possession of alcohol. She was also hit with a DUI rap. Her underage cohort--who was found covered in yellow paint--was cited for marijuana possession.

Commenting on the vandalism, a sheriff’s deputy told Fabianski, “You really need to try harder to try to be sneaky, because you are God awful.” He added, chuckling, “And you guys spray painted the wrong damn car.”

Fabianski was freed on bond late this afternoon from the county jail. While three of the four counts she faces are misdemeanors, the criminal mischief is a felony since damage to the car exceeded $1000.

Using a fingerprint lifted off a Goldfish package, cops identified and arrested a man for hitting a female Family Dollar manager in the face with the crackers when she confronted him about stealing from the retailer.

Cops allege that Michael Gonzalez, who is known as “Gizmo,” struck the 65-year-old victim after walking out of the Florida business with “approximately $50 worth of cleaning supplies and a box of Goldfish crackers.”

The victim, cops say, approached Gonzalez as he handed the stolen goods to a passenger in a vehicle parked in front of the Gulfport store. Upon being challenged by the woman, Gonzalez, 29, allegedly “hit her in the face with the Goldfish crackers, causing a small cut” under her lip.

Seen at right, Gonzalez was arrested yesterday for strong arm robbery, a felony, in connection with the September 2024 Goldfish incident. He was in custody Thursday for a prior alleged robbery during which he stole a skateboard from a man who he punched, bit, and stabbed in the face and head.

Shown surveillance images from Family Dollar (pictured below), Gonzalez--who has several distinctive tattoos, including one between his eyes--reportedly admitted to cops he was the individual in the photos.

“Throughout the interview,” police noted, Gonzalez “stated that this was petty and that he should just get time served.” A judge apparently disagreed with that analysis, setting Gonzalez’s bond at $30,000 for the two pending felony robbery cases.

Locked up in the county jail, Gonzalez is familiar with such accommodations. His rap sheet includes convictions for theft; trespass; robbery; cocaine possession; disorderly conduct; and attempted armed robbery. In addition to various jail sentences, Gonzalez has served nearly two years in state prison, records show.

Police are scrambling to identify who poached about 100,000 organic eggs from a Pennsylvania protein producer.

Cops estimated the “current” street value of the eggs at $40,000 (though that figure could increase based on skyrocketing prices).

Investigators say Pete & Gerry’s Organic Eggs was victimized Saturday evening when one of its distribution trailers was burglarized. The eggs were swiped from outside the firm’s headquarters in Greencastle, a borough in the south-central part of the state.

Pennsylvania State Police officials have asked the public to contact them with any information about the theft. Or who might be trying to fence 8333 dozen eggs.

Even in Key West, Florida, where some louche behavior is tolerated, you are going to get arrested for having sex at 4:20 AM on a sidewalk adjacent to the main road through town.

Early Tuesday morning, cops were driving on a two-lane stretch of U.S. Route 1 when they spotted a woman “bent over” in front of a man who was “thrusting his hips back and forth” while the couple was situated in front of a pet grooming business.

“The two subjects continued intercourse until I activated my emergency lights,” reported Officer Bryce Sonnichsen.

In the glow of the cruiser’s cherry top, William Jeannot, 41, “put his penis back inside of his pants,” while Diane Clawson, 38, “put down her dress.” Clawson reportedly “was disheveled with her bodysuit undone.”

Jeannot and Clawson were subsequently arrested for committing lascivious acts with another person in a public place. The duo was booked into the Monroe County jail on the misdemeanor charge and later released.

While court and police records list Jeannot’s address as a Whitehall, Michigan residence, he recently began a job with a Key West yacht company, according to a post on his Facebook page. Clawson, who works as a server in Key West, lives in nearby Stock Island and is a licensed esthetician, or “facial specialist.”

Jeannot and Clawson are scheduled for a January 31 arraignment.