This Is A Terrible Explanation For Why Your Were Stealing Calvin Klein Dresses From Macy's

A woman caught stealing a pair of Calvin Klein dresses and a Michael Kors jacket told cops that she swiped the fancy threads because she “needed something to wear to her son’s High School Football Banquet,” according to a police report.

Despite that explanation, Aree Riveros, 58, was still arrested on a felony theft charge for allegedly boosting the garments Saturday from a Macy’s in Clearwater, Florida.

The clothing, valued at $428, was found in Riveros’s purse after she was confronted by security upon exiting the store.

Riveros, pictured at left, is free on $2000 bond.

An arrest affidavit does not explain why the Tampa resident needed two dresses for her son’s gridiron banquet, though a mid-meal wardrobe change would likely impress fellow attendees.