Never Call The Cops With A Consumer Complaint About Your Hooker

The next time Ryan McNames wants to lodge a consumer complaint, he’ll know better than to call the Columbia Police Department.

The Missouri man, 19, dialed cops Saturday night to report that he paid $60 to a pair of prostitutes to perform sexual acts for him. As McNames described it, the deal called for one woman to show him her breasts, while the other would perform oral sex on him in the living room of his mobile home at the Columbia Regency Trailer Court.

While “the first woman showed him her chest,” police reported, the second hooker “took the $60 without holding up her end of the deal (oral sex).” The pair then “jumped in their car and left,” according to a police press release. That’s when McNames made the mistake of calling cops to report that he was a larceny victim.

He also requested that officers contact the woman who did not fellate him and “get $40 of his money back,” police reported.

McNames, who admitted knowing that it was illegal to pay for sex, was later arrested for patronizing prostitution. After being booked on a misdemeanor rap, McNames, pictured in the above mug shot, bonded out of jail after posting $500.

In April, a Cincinnati man was arrested after an unsatisfying tryst with a prostitute (in a White Castle bathroom).