Faced with news that one of its most expensive Manhattan hotel rooms was discovered to be sodden with semen, a Sofitel hotels spokesperson today dodged questions about sanitary conditions inside the luxury chain’s lodgings.

In light of yesterday’s disclosure by prosecutors that the carpet and wallpaper in Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s $3000-a-night suite was found to contain the “semen and DNA” of four other men, TSG this morning contacted Sofitel flack Stacy Royal, who said she was unaware of the DSK semen story.

A reporter--who provided Royal with a copy of the prosecution court filing detailing the stray DNA at the Times Square-area hotel--asked for reaction to the government lab results (as well as comment on the cleanliness of Sofitel rooms).

Royal, however, hit the mattresses. The spokesperson, pictured above, did not return a series of subsequent TSG phone calls and e-mails. The hotel chain, it seems, does not want to answer questions about semen, stains, or what one Facebook commenter dubbed the “spooge cave.”

Barring a change in Sofitel’s PR strategy, we will not have the answers to questions like:

* Do cheaper rooms have more semen stains?

* Are there plans to bring in Roscoe the semen-sniffing dog to aid in remediation efforts?

* Will those plush bathrobes be replaced with hazmat suits?