Pee-wee, Capt. Kirk Linked To Pot Shipments

OCTOBER 2--Federal agents last month intercepted four packages containing more than 33 pounds of marijuana that were addressed to characters from “Star Trek” and “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure,” The Smoking Gun has learned.

The four Priority Mail packages were dropped off September 18 by an unidentified male at an Office Depot store in Roseville, California, a city about 20 miles from Sacramento. The sender paid $228.60 in cash to ship the boxes, each of which was destined for Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Office Depot employees later contacted cops after detecting a “strong odor of marijuana” emanating from the parcels, each of which weighed about 18 pounds.

As detailed in a federal affidavit, agents seized the boxes, which bore a fictitious return address, as well as a phony sender’s name.

Two of the parcels were addressed to “Francis Buxton.” A check of law enforcement databases revealed that nobody with that name was associated with the address where the packages were to be delivered. In fact, federal agents reported that they could not identify a “Francis Buxton” anywhere in Pennsylvania.

And that is because “Francis Buxton” is the name of Pee-wee Herman’s nemesis in the 1985 movie “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure.” The character, a spoiled rich kid who lives next door to Pee-wee, hires someone to steal Pee-wee’s beloved bike when his offer to purchase the wheels is rejected.

“Buxton” is pictured above with Pee-wee and his tricked-out ride.

The other two packages were addressed to “Cyrano Jones” at a second Philadelphia address. Again, investigators could locate nobody with that name in Pennsylvania (let alone the specific recipient address on the parcels).

“Cyrano Jones” was a character on the “Star Trek” television series. “Jones” was an intergalactic merchant who was viewed as a pest by USS Enterprise boss Captain James T. Kirk. “Jones” is best known for introducing quickly reproducing “tribbles” onto the starship. The furry creatures overrun the Enterprise, leaving Kirk exasperated in the 1967 episode “The Trouble with Tribbles.”

“Jones” is seen above caressing a “tribble.”

U.S. District Court records filed yesterday reveal that when agents opened the four Priority Mail packages they discovered that each contained more than eight pounds of marijuana stashed inside DeWalt tool boxes.

The street value of the seized pot could easily exceed $100,000. It is unclear if anyone has been arrested in connection with the trafficking attempt. (3 pages)