"Honest, Officer, Those Drugs Hidden In My Crotch Are Not Mine"

Jessi Clark was riding in the front passenger seat of a Cadillac Wednesday night when Florida cops pulled over the vehicle after spotting the 29-year-old without a seatbelt.

As the driver spoke with cops, Clark allegedly “pulled out a piece of paper towel from her crotch” that had three Oxycodone pills and three Xanax tablets. Clark, pictured in the mug shot at right, then denied that the drugs she fished from the vicinity of her private parts were her property, according to a police report excerpted here.

She pointed the finger at the driver, alleging that he “told her to put it down her pants.” The driver denied Clark’s claim, stating “he has no idea what was down her pants.”

Clark’s disavowal of the stash in her drawers was rejected by cops, who charged her with two felony drug possession counts. She is being held in the Manatee County jail in lieu of $2000 bond.

In late-September, a Florida man gave police a similar story when they discovered a bag of cocaine hidden inside his buttocks. Strangely, the suspect admitted ownership of a bag of pot that was also wedged in the same place.